How can you make your boyfriend marry you?

To provide another point of view, I started talking to my boyfriend of about 5 years about marriage and he got more distant and then broke up with me saying he wasn't ready. I cut off ALL contact, though he kept trying to stay in touch. No chatting, no calls, no seeing each other, no response at all. After a month he called and he came back saying he was ready and realized what he had given up. We had an adjustment period for a month after the break-up, and when I brought it up again, he said the same thing about being pushed. 

Some men hold onto immaturity and fears that are unncessary and an ultimatum lets you know where you stand. In my case it was necessary to know where I stood, to protect myself from a wishy washy person who already provided me heartache once, and to pay attention to my needs instead of him. It can work, it can't, but at the end of the day, if you know what you want, why not speak up! It worked in my case, and he did it happily realizing it was time to grow up. I love him very much. And we are very happy now being married.

I hate to say this, but make the ultimatum. I dated my husband for 5 years, before he finally did. I did have to break up with him though - totally. No calls, no visits, no sex. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. But once he saw I was serious, he got serious - and we got married. As long as you are available under his terms, your terms will never be met.

I dont think its a good idea to make someone ask you. It should be a natural progession, something both people want. You can do the ultimatum thing if you are that desperate to get married but be prepared to stand your ground and move on if it doesnt work.

You're so right. Give the ultimatum then cut off contact. I did the same with my ex (to decide whether to move in together, not marry, that would have freaked him out), and he didn't contact me at all. He's now looking for other dates. But at least I know where I stand now, and can move on. (Eventually....)

Tags: ultimatum married contact stand where though calls serious other month